LOTR: Caunwen
by Evelyn C. Sharpe
Summary: This fanfic follows a young half elf/human on her adventure in disguise as a guide accompanying Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas on their journeys through the book Return of the King, the last of the LOTR trilogy.
1. Chapter 1

LOTR: Caunwen

If you have read the Lord of the Rings trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien, or have seen the movies, then, you may enjoy this story. If you have not, then I suggest you at least go rent the movies and watch them before continuing further because I am not going to even attempt to retell the entire saga here.

My character is introduced in The Return of the King (in my telling anyways). She has many names for she is a traveller, a guide for those who want protection in various parts of Middle Earth. She dresses like a man to escape unwanted attention, and it works because to the common eye she is perceived as a young man. For the purpose of this story, I will refer to her as those perceiving her refer to her. She has a past that may be told later in the story. Her few friends include King Theoden of Rohan, Eomer, Eowyn, and Gandalf the Wizard. She lives in the Forest of Ithilien which is close to Mordor, where she raises wolves and teaches them to hunt orcs and rescue human folk.

She enters the picture by going to the Rohan camp when they are preparing to go to war with Mordor. When Aragorn decides to that he must follow the "Paths of the Dead," King Theoden tells him that Revion (Caunwen's manly-persona, translates from the elvish "to wander") should accompany him as a guide. Aragorn, a Ranger, does not feel he needs a guide, and would not want to burden himself with another person's life in his charge; Gimli and Legolas will obviously not be left behind. King Theoden is insistent, though, so Aragorn finally agrees to take him with them.

When asked by King Theoden to go with Aragorn, Revion declines. This upsets Eowyn who is angry at her because she, herself is not allowed to go, while Revion is being allowed, but is not willing. Eomer rebukes Eowyn for being out of place by being rude to Revion and insinuating she is a coward. The troupe (Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas) plans to leave the next morning. That night, Revion has a dream in which Gandalf speaks to her, telling her not to fear the responsibility of guiding the three through the "paths of th dead," that "guilt of [their] perishing or of failure as a leader" will not be hers.

Early the next morning, Eomer finds her in the stables getting her horse ready. She tells him of her decision to lead the troupe, and he encourages her, saying he will the King and Aragorn that she will go. Eowyn overheard as she was walking through the stables in search of Revion and she apologizes for being rude, and Revion forgives her.

Legolas and Gimli were not happy about their new guide. They poked fun of the young lad, for they did not know who Revion truly was. Aragorn asked Eomer why King Theoden insisted on Revion accompanying them. Eomer's replies only, "If anyone has or ever will make it through the "Paths of the Death" alive, they have to be led by Revion. Do not worry," Eomer assures his friend, "he [sticking with the disguise] should not be much of a bother and will most likely turn out to be quite useful in your quest." Aragorn has the feeling that Eomer is keeping details of their guide vague intentionally, but he has no time to push his uncertainties. It was time to leave, so they set out.


	2. Chapter 2

Revion did prove to be an able guide, but Legolas had a strange feeling about him that left him ill at ease. Aragorn thought it odd that he, Revion, would know so much about the regions of Middle-Earth (that is, if what Eomer said was correct, that Revion had travelled all over the continent many times) and not talk of them. In fact, Revion hardly talked at all. He gave few directions, indeed, they came to very few diversions of trails, so it was a pretty straight forward path they chose, and he also did not join in the conversations the other three had. Although, it seemed to Aragorn that he seemed to be listening to them; it was hard not to hear Gimli tell is stories of their adventures, with Legolas correcting him about numerical facts here and there as the tally was somehow always leaning in the dwarf's favor, or when Legolas told of some of the places he had visited or other adventures he'd had in his earlier years.

By the time they reached the cave, Aragorn and his friends were just getting used to Revion's presence, and were feeling that he was getting used to them as well. Legolas, although a great discerner of persons, could only tell what his eyes saw on the surface of Revion: a small, darkly-clothed figure, riding a horse as black as darkness itself. A wolf accompanied them, and it looked as if his loyalty belonged to the dark rider, for he was constantly by Revion's side unless ordered differently by his master. But, the familiar, unfamiliarity would not last long.

After they travelled some distance into the Cave of the Dead, they entered a room of great expanse, similar to the grand hall of Moria except that it had a great chasm stretching across nearly half of it. They were approached by the Zombie King who would have killed Lord Aragorn before hearing him out if it had not been for Revion. Revion called out "stop" in the dead men's native tongue, the tongue that had spoken in the days when they walked the Middle-earth as men. Revion explained to the king who Aragorn was, and the king listened to Aragorn's proposition. In the end it was decided, the dead would go to war. It seemed to Legolas that the king knew Revion somehow, that it had been the voice more than the words that had stayed the zombie's hand from cutting Aragorn's throat. Of Course, these thoughts he kept to himself for it was not time to observe, it was time to fight.

They first attacked the war fleet of ships that were headed to Osgiliath as reinforcements loyal to Sauron. They used their ships, then, to get to Osgiliath to join the full scale war of Gondor by attacking from behind, at a place the Evil One expected allies, not more adversaries.

(The movie, The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, shows the war from the views of the other characters and is very complex, so I will only show Caunwen's view and those she fought as a main stage.)

When they arrived at Osgiliath the four, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli and Revion (Caunwen), jumped from the boats and were outnumbered by the orcs that were there awaiting the ships, or so it seemed that they were outnumbered. When they chose to charge, the Dead went with them. What is better than an army that cannot be killed? Anyways, Revion took down a few Oliphaunts which angered the Evil One a bit, so he sent some Nazgul after her. (The Evil One has an all-seeing eye, he obviously knows the truth, so I will switch the pronoun here) She was picked up by one of the dragons and taken high above the battle scene. She managed to shoot the dragon with her bow, but that made it so the dragon dropped her. She landed on another dragon, but was stabbed in the side by the nazgul rider just as she slit the throat of this dragon. Then, she jumped off and landed on the back of another dragon. That wraith tried to shoot an arrow at her, but he missed because he was jolted when Legolas shot the dragon they were on, and the dragon fell to, or rather collided with, the ground. Revion was to the earth and knocked unconscious for the rest of the battle.

It wasn't until her wolves were sent out to look for survivors that anyone even realized she was missing. The wolf found her, then told Gandalf (if Gandalf can talk to eagles and moths, I am confident he can solve the wolf dialect also), who then came to have her taken to a place where she could be looked after.

Later, when Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, Faramir, Eomer, and Gandalf were taking counsel, Gimli asked after the young guide's health. "A brave fighter," Aragorn praised him. "Yes," Gandalf agreed, "Caunwen is a great fighter." Legolas just stared at Gandalf then, trying to decide if he had heard wrong or if Gandalf had just messed up. Gimli beat him, "Our guide's name was Revion, and he was an excellent guide; thank you for sending him, Eomer." "Your guide has many names, but the first she had was Caunwen. That was when she lived in Rivendell," Gandalf explained. "She?" Aragorn asked, he then glanced at Eomer and thought of Eowyn's demeanor with the guide, "I guess I should not be surprised by this…" But, he was. "It's a long story," Gandalf said, taking in Legolas' now ashen features, "maybe you would like to tell it, Greenleaf?" Legolas came back from the memory that had stirred deep within him, one he had tried to forget. "No. It is not pleasant for me," he replied, "I know so little of it, anyways. I am sure my telling of it would be incomplete." Gandalf was still reluctant, but he eventually gave in to Aragorn and Gimli's wishes for an explanation.

This was the story he told:

(To be continued)


	3. Chapter 3

This was the story he told:

Caunwen grew up in Rivendell as a member of the household of Lord Elrond, she was his orphaned niece. She was like one of his own children and was treated as such. She learned how to track, ride and fight alongside her cousins. She and Arwen were especially close, in friendship and age, not likeness or demeanor exactly. A young elven prince was a third party to on most of the escapades that are told of the two girls, and they had many adventures. They flourished as they grew up together, side by side, inseparable. Or, at least, everyone thought so.

The elven prince, because he was getting near the age when most elvish youth start thinking of marriage, was advised by his Father to put asunder his friendship with Caunwen, for she was only half elven. Which would not have been so bad because she still had beauty and life immortal, but she did not favor the elvish looks, and it would be shameful for an elven prince to associate with, let alone marry, a girl who did not look elven kind. He did as his father advised, the poor fool. He would still visit Arwen and talk with her, some thought he was even courting her, but when Caunwen was around he did not speak with her much. Their conversations never went much farther than a nod of acknowledgement, and soon thereafter he would find a reason to leave. The worst part was that Caunwen was never told that she was not worthy enough to even have a light conversation with her friend of so many years, so she was confused. She did not show her heartbreak, though. She let him go, even as it seemed that she was letting a part of herself die. Which in truth was what what did happen; a part of her was lost that has never been relinquished, the happiness that comes from loving someone and being loved in return. It did not matter that it was only childlike love, it had been unconditional, and was now gone.

Arwen began to notice that something was wrong, though it might have taken her awhile. At first, she had just been happy with the extra attention that the elven prince bestowed upon her. She noticed that he was not spending as much time with Caunwen as he used to, but her young romantic heart told her that she was just blowing things way out of proportion. She told herself this because, if she were to think that he did not have a friendship with Caunwen, then their friendship might also diminish. It was not until one sunny afternoon when Arwen and the prince were talking while walking through the gardens on one of his visits that she found out that indeed something was up. They came upon Caunwen sitting on a bench, reading. Arwen wanted to tell her something, so she approached her. Caunwen looked up and greeted her a good day. Arwen asked what book she was reading, and they discussed it a few minutes. Caunwen then asked how Arwen was spending her day, and she told Caunwen that the prince and her were going for a walk. It was then she realized that the elven prince was no longer at her side, but over near a fountain watching the water. She told Caunwen that she should come walk with them so she could talk to her about something, but Caunwen refused, "he does not wish me to walk with you, he is here to see you. We can speak later." With that she rose and left the garden. When Arwen rejoined the prince, she expected him to ask after Caunwen, but he never inquired as to her cousin, not once. After that, she watched them every time the prince visited. The prince would ignore Caunwen, and she, in turn, would find other things to occupy her time while he was there, even if it meant skipping a meal with the family.

Arwen thought that it was Caunwen who was at fault, so she spoke to her father about it. Caunwen would not disobey Elrond if he asked her to stay for a meal, no matter who was at the table. He told Arwen to invite the prince to dinner and said that he would ask Caunwen to stay also, for he had noticed something amiss as well. As the scheme went, they maneuvered it so that Caunwen and the prince would have to sit across from each other. It was all for nothing, for they were to be disappointed. Caunwen had never been all that talkative, especially at meal times, but she had always answered when spoken to, and she was the same then as well. Elrond, who sat at the head of the table with Caunwen on his left and the elven prince to his right, and Arwen to his right, asked Caunwen how her day was and what she had done. She gave him as much or as little detail as he wished. It seemed to Elrond that it was not his niece who had changed, but the elven prince. The prince had not spoken once to Caunwen the entire evening. He had not so much as looked her way even when she was speaking to her Uncle, and Elrond could sense that there was some inner turmoil going on beneath the forced calmness of the young one's manner. Elrond then understood what was happening and later advised Arwen not to blame Caunwen for the distanced relationship that she now had with the prince. Their decision, was also for nothing.

One day soon after, tragedy struck the realm of the elves. It was a day not soon forgotten by many, never forgotten by some. It happened when Arwen and the elven prince were having a picnic on the eastern side of Rivendell. They were laughing, enjoying the lovely meadow, the birds, the flowers, the winds. Arwen wanted to ask him about Caunwen, but she could not bring herself to shatter the wonderful moment. All of a sudden, four Wargs came through the meadow, rushing steadily toward the elves. The elven prince had forgotten his bow (something he vowed never to do again). Their horses broke free of their ties and ran off before they could catch them. The Wargs were almost upon them when one of them was hit with an arrow to the throat and slid to a hault, tripping several others behind it. Out of the trees rode Caunwen, bow and arrow in hand. She leapt from her horse and sent it to Arwen and the prince who were climbing a rock cliff, trying to escape. Caunwen shot down another Warg before yelling to the other two beasts to come after her. By this time, Arwen and the elven prince, by Arwen's bidding, were on Caunwen's horse and riding to Rivendell to sound the alarm. By the time they returned, all that remained were three dead Wargs and much blood. Whether the latter belonged to the fourth beast or Caunwen they could not discern, so they assumed it to be a bit of both. They followed the tracks for months, scouring all of the surrounding lands, sending messengers and scouts to see if anyone had news of her. Nothing was found, so Elrond finally called an end to the search.

What they did know was that Careen was still alive. She had been picked up, savagely wounded, by some orcs who were journeying to Isengard. They had taken one of the Warg beast remains also to eat, and figured they would eat her after she died of her wounds as a reserve food source. After arriving in Isengard they were sent to Mordor. They had to take the long way around, so they decided to pass through the place of the dead as a shortcut. They never made it out. The dead hate living men, but they hate living orcs even more. One of them found Caunwen strapped to the back of a pack mule, barely alive. By some miracle, they took pity on her enough to bind up her wounds and see if she would even live. She roused once, and they asked her who she was. She told them she was thought of as dead, so let her live. One of them led her on the mule to the nearest village where she could be better cared for. She never told anyone that the dead had let her live or where she came from. She travelled from place to place, dressed as a man named Revion, Caomer, or some other name, for she has had many, working as a guide for those who need safe passage on their journeys. Her one dwelling is in the forests of South Ithilien with her wolves. Not known by most of Middle-earth, though she knows most of it.


	4. Chapter 4

"What kind of elven princes do you have over there, Legolas?" Gimli asked, shaking his head shamefully. "I hope he wasn't one of your kin." "I said the matter was not pleasant," Legolas replied, then excused himself mumbling something about needing to see to his horse. "Gandalf," Aragorn asked, a thought having come to him, "What was the name of the elven prince? From which realm did he come?" "Caunwen never told me," Gandalf replied, "I suppose that she did not think it prudent to ruin other lives along with her own."

Aragorn went to the horse stables in search of his friend, for he had a suspicion and wished for confirmation. He found Legolas combing down not his own horse, but Caunwen's, seemingly deep in thought. When the elf finally noticed himself being watched, his only explanation was that the horse needed taken care of while his master was healing. "What seems to be troubling you?" Legolas asked, turning back to the dark beast. Aragorn did not waste time in coming to the point, "I don't believe I have ever seen you mumble an excuse to get out of a strategy counsel, or feel the need to explain why you are brushing down a particular animal." "Yeah, well, I have been alive a long time, it is probable there are many things you have never seen me do before," Legolas said this in such a way that Aragorn could not tell if his friend was speaking this logic to cover frustration or as a defense to hide some deeper feelings. Aragorn decided to act as if he had not heard him, "It has occurred to me that in all the time I have known you, I have never seen you take an interest in any lady, elven or otherwise… I had heard of a possible courtship between you the Lady Arwen long ago. I had always wondered why that ended, your two houses seemingly would have been overjoyed at such a powerful union. I am sure especially your father would have approved…" Legolas stopped combing the horse, clutching the brush in knuckles turning red with the effort. "What is it you want from me?" he finally asked, pain etched in his voice. "The name of the elven prince," Aragorn replied, "and any reasonable defense he may have had… in case I need to convince Gimli not to take an axe to his skull, you know how protective he gets of his maiden friends." "You want to know the motive behind the prince's actions, the logic," Legolas decided, "I suppose logic was the initial downfall of the prince, the vast wisdom of the elves is so grand it can tell you everything... except for what is in your own heart. Growing up with Arwen and Caunwen was the best part of my life. We never favored one of us over the other, we fought side by side and worked together for everything. I thought that time would last forever, I never dreamed I would be the one to end it. I know it was my Father who advised me to sever ties with Caunwen, but it was my own choice; a choice not easily lived with. It had sounded like a duty, our relationship such a small trifle compared to the task of preserving the family's legacy. I was never so wrong in all my life. I would visit Arwen often to try to focus on my relationship with her, a relationship that, yes, he did approve of… but, the more I went, the more I realized that our friendship was never destined to be more than what it was, and the more I realized that I needed Caunwen's friendship. I was lonely for her, my heart ached for her. I would go into Rivendell on business and would walk by Elrond's house in the evenings because I knew she would be in the garden singing or reading to some of the children, and I loved to hear the sound of her voice." Here he closed his eyes, remembering. " I guess it was not enough to make me admit what I knew to be true, that I loved her. I did not want to disappoint my parents, and I knew I had already betrayed Caunwen. There was a part of me that said she would never forgive me." He took a deep breath before continuing, "I remember the day the Wargs came, every detail. I relive the memory every night, every day. If I had only had my bow, I would have stayed and sent Arwen on the horse for help. As it was I knew that my duty lay in getting Arwen back to Rivendell safely, and Caunwen knew that I suppose. I could not have risked having those beasts attack Arwen, and I would have been no help to Caunwen had I stayed, unarmed. When we came back to find Caunwen gone, I could not let myself believe she was dead. Elrond's search lasted for months, but mine lasted for years and still I found nothing. Finally, my Father sent word he needed my assistance with a dwarf problem at home and I returned. I may have given up hope of ever finding her, but I knew that even if I did not find her, I would never love anyone as much as I loved her." He finally turned his eyes on Aragorn, "I have lived this whole time with the regret of never having asked her forgiveness or told her how I felt. Now, I have found her and she might die before I get to speak to her again." His voice had grown husky at this last notion and Legolas turned back to the horse to hide the tears that were welling up from the abundance of emotions raging inside him. Aragorn was speechless, he had assumed Legolas was the "elven prince" of the story, but he'd had no notion what his friend had endured, the torment. He squeezed the elf's shoulder, then left him to grieve in private, for he did not know what else to do. He had never seen Legolas cry before.


	5. Chapter 5

A few days after the mighty victory over Sauron and the destroying of the Ring of Power (oops, I guess I should have said: *spoilers*), Caunwen's health was much improved. When she finally awoke Gandalf was sitting by her bedside. "Gandalf?" she croaked, her throat hoarse. He shushed her until he could give her a few sips of water from a cup he had kept next to her bed. He then asked a maid to bring a pitcher of water and a bowl of broth. Then, he sat back down and had her listen to his recount of the war. She was glad to hear that the dead were now at peace, Frodo and Sam had been rescued and the ring destroyed; she was sorrowful for the death of King Theoden and the near death of Faramir at the hands of his Father, "Such honorable men… I will miss talking with the King."

Gandalf then sent for a nurse to change Caunwen's bandages, and Eowyn came delighted to see her friend still alive and on the mend. She talked of the grand celebration that was to be held, and of Lord Faramir's swift recovery. Caunwen could sense something in Eowyn's voice, perhaps it was the sound of distracted love, that told her she should change her own bandages, that it would somehow be safer. So, she accepted the bandages from Eowyn, but told her that she would not need her assistance. Eowyn and Gandalf tried to argue that she was not yet strong enough, but Caunwen dismissed them nonetheless. "Fine," Eowyn huffed, slightly miffed at her friend's stubbornness, "You think you can do anything just because you took on four Wargs, a band of orcs, and the dead, single-handedly. I'll be back later."

Caunwen was taken aback, her heart started racing and her head began to ache. "Gandalf? she asked unsurely, "What did you do?" The old wizard looked at her kindly, but replied sadly, "I told your story to some of the leaders, so they would not be too disappointed to realize that they could never destroy all the evil in this world with one war. The rest of the change must come from the hearts of the people. Perhaps I should not have used your particular story, but it was bound to be discovered that you are not a man; I decided it would be best if I told them before you were treated. Eowyn already knew you were a woman, of course, but she was herself injured, so discretion was not possible. I don't know who told her the story, or how much they told her, though." Caunwen laid back down and started breathing deeply, trying not to panic. "Do not worry," Gandalf tried to get her to settle down, "I do not believe that much, if any, bad will come of what's been done. Rest now. Would you like me to find someone to help with your bandages?" She looked thoughtfully at the bandages in her lap. "No," she decided, "I will still manage it myself. I thank you anyways, Gandalf, for everything." Gandalf nodded, then took his leave.

It took Caunwen a few minutes to get her emotions back under control, but she finally succeeded. All she had wanted to do was scream at Gandalf and run to her horse and escape this nightmare. The latter was still a heavy temptation, but she figured she probably did not have the strength to do that, yet. It took her a long time to successfully redress her wounds. In fact, that task took so much out of her that as soon as she finished she threw the old bandages on the floor, took a few sips of water and went back to sleep for another full day.

Caunwen, even though she was far from being fully recovered, still managed to attend the celebration of King Aragorn's coronation ceremony. She wore a loose fitting gown due to her wounded side, but no one could have missed her beauty had they been blind in both eyes, she even seemed to drip (but not overly so) with the smell of the sweetest smelling lilacs. Her gown was the colors of water, starting with a light blue and growing deeper and darker as it went down. She stood next to Lord Elrond and Arwen during the ceremony, and Caunwen smiled at Arwen and laughed with her at Arwen and Aragorn's loving reunion. Elrond looked at Caunwen as she watched the couple go off to start the reception; she sensed his stare and looked at him questioningly. "I am just so amazed that you seem to hold no ill will for anyone for all that has happened to you," he exclaimed. "Who would I blame?" she asked, "and what good would it do me? What's done, is done. I will live my life only once, immortality is no excuse to waste my time with regrets of the past. I would then simply regret wasting time on regrets and where would that leave me?" He kissed her forehead and joined the group that was now going down to the grand hall for food, drink and dance, and of course, fellowship. She watched him go and contemplated the wisdom of trying all of those stairs with a hurt side. She looked around to see who was still in the courtyard that she knew. There were quite a few acquaintances she knew from her travels, but they had only known her as a manly figure, so they would not recognize her now. Then she saw Legolas, standing with his family. He had been watching her, but she saw now as his father King Thranduil got his attention and she knew by the look on the King's face he had noticed her as well. She could only guess what the conversation would be about, but she suddenly decided the stairs were not all that dangerous and started her descent. She knew she had made a mistake about halfway down, but she pushed herself forward until she reached the last step and nearly passed out on the spot, but someone caught her arm and led her to an out-of-the-way bench near the stairs. It was Eomer. "Gandalf said you would probably attempt the stairs by yourself," he explained as his head shook his disapproval, "You try to be strong too much for your own good, Caunwen." She knew he was right, so she nodded her thanks for his help, and tried to ease the fiery pain in her lungs and side by leaning back against the marble wall. He sat down beside her, and they talked until she said she was ready to join the reception. Then, he offered her his arm, and they entered the grand hall together.

Caunwen loved to dance, and she did so despite warnings from both Gandalf and Eowyn. To reassure him, she gave Gandalf the first dance, then he stopped complaining. She danced with her uncle, Lord Elrond, and Master Gimli. Then she danced with Eomer for a few songs. It was at the end of one of these songs that Legolas appeared at her side, inquiring of Eomer if he might be able to cut in. Eomer looked to Caunwen for consent, and she gave it, but not without a slight hesitation. The song started, and Legolas offered his hand.

(to be continued… muwahahaha! I know, it kills me too)


	6. Chapter 6

Caunwen accepted it. This song was slower than the others had been, but Careen was glad because she was becoming tired from dancing and rather nervous now that was Legolas was so near to her. She had managed the the whole trip through Mount Erech and fought beside him the entire war without being bothered by his presence, but that was because he had been clueless as to her true identity. Now, it was different because he knew who she was, and he was still dancing with her. She decided to distract herself before becoming a wreck by focusing on the other couples on the dance floor; Aragorn and Arwen seemed to be in another world; Faramir and Eowyn were also looking a bit enveloped in each other's presence.

"Have you been having a good time?" Legolas asked, feeling the need to start a conversation. "Yes," she replied, "Once I had Gandalf convinced that I was not going to shatter all over the dance floor, that is. Then the fun was permitted to commence." "Really?" he asked, wanting to hear her say more, "Like what?" He was aware he sounded very regulated in his responses, but he actually was interested. "Well," she began, "I was able to tell my uncle a few stories about my travels over the years and such. I danced with Gimli, and he told me that he is glad I am not a man, so I am taking that as a compliment." She chuckled to herself. Legolas looked at her then, and she looked back at him. The song ended, but their gaze remained locked together, arms still entwined in the dance. It was too much for Caunwen, whatever it was she saw. She broke away from his gaze and his hold. It was suddenly too warm in the grand hall, she needed air, so she made an escape through an eastern door to a little veranda overlooking the land of Gondor outside of Minas Tirith.

After a few minutes she felt better, at least, in her lungs. She now shivered from the cool night air. She was very tired, her side ached, and she felt as though she might pass out. She looked around for a bench to sit on, and that was when she noticed that Legolas had followed her and was sitting on the only bench present. She decided to lean against the stone rail instead of sitting beside him. He was watching her, but he did not utter a word for some time. "Did you have something you wanted to tell me, or is this just a watching game?" she had grown irritated as her aches began to return. "Why didn't you come back?" he asked instead, "you had everybody thinking you were dead. Why did you let us think that you were… You could have sent word or something." "Who was I to send to?" she countered, "Lord Elrond, my own Uncle, was becoming upset with me because he thought I was trying to sabotage an advantageous marriage between my cousin Arwen and a certain elven prince. Arwen was too busy being courted to notice anything amiss with me…" Caunwen stood up from the rail, "and let us not forget that Elven Prince, who could so easily throw away a lifelong friendship at the very hint of the word 'disgraceful' from his Father's lips. Who could not even bear to look at, let alone speak to, a half-elf simply because she does not look like an elf. Were these the family and friends I was supposed to tell about my still being alive? I think not. I saved you and Arwen from the Wargs, gave my life for you as far as everyone else was concerned. There was no going back for me, I wanted a different life, and I am sorry if it sounds selfish, but I thought giving those people up was worth it." She turned away, letting her anger rush out of her before she spoke again. She put her hand up to her eyes to brush away her tears. Then she started towards the door only pausing at the bench long enough to say, "I'm sorry," leaving him alone.

(sorry, I have to stop, I am too tired to keep from getting emotional over this scene)


	7. Chapter 7

Caunwen said goodnight to Gandalf and the others then, telling them she was retiring for the evening. Eomer offered to escort her to her room, but she politely declined, saying that he needed to be here and that she knew the way. When she finally got to her room, she began preparing for bed. Wearing men's clothes is advantageous when one is wounded, especially when one has a wound in their side that needs air access. She put on the same long, baggy pants she often wore on the trail and was wrapping a sash around her upper body when someone knocked on the door. She had gotten so used to Eowyn and the healers coming and going in the time since she had awakened that she bid the person enter without much thought; she was distracted looking at her wounded side, judging what kind of scar she was going to have when it fully healed. "Could you tie this sash on the side, please? I tried, but I just can't reach it," she spoke absently, tracing her scab with one hand while holding the covering in place with the other.

"Sure," Legolas answered. Caunwen turned around suddenly, now grasping the sash with both hands. "Well, I cannot tie it very easily if you don't turn around first," he said. Though his logic was sound, She very hesitantly turned around. He saw on her bare back many ugly scars, and he wondered if there were equally ugly ones on the rest of her, for some of them curved around her side, but were then blocked from his sight by the cover she held against herself. "Are these from the Wargs?" he dared to ask, lightly tracing one with an index finger. "Most of them," she answered weakly. He took up the slack on the ends of the sash, then tied them into a knot on the same side as her stab wound. "Thank you," she said when he had finished. She went to walk past him, but he grabbed her arm gently, stopping her. She looked up at him, their eyes locking once again. She knew he wanted to say something, had been trying to say whatever it was all evening, but she just was unsure what it was.

She looked down, trying to decide if she should give him a minute or tell him to leave. He took his finger and lifted below her chin, so she would look up at him again. "I am so sorry for what I did to you," he apologized, to her utmost surprise, "Could you ever forgive me?" his eyes begged her to at least consider it. Her tears starting once again, she replied, "I already have. I forgave you all a long time ago." He breathed a deep sigh of relief, and took her in his arms in, what had to be, one of the longest, gentlest hugs of the Age. When he finally let go, he told her goodnight and thanks, and he said he would see her in the morning. Once he had gone, Caunwen finally made it to bed and had a sweet sleep; little did she know how much she would need it.


	8. Chapter 8

Legolas, since he was an elf and elves do not actually sleep, was up before anyone else one morning a few days after coronation. As usual, he had to wait until the others were ready to have breakfast, so he decided that he would take his horse out for an early morning run. He loved riding through the glades and watching the creatures of Middle-earth come alive at the start of the day. When he arrived at the stables he was surprised to find Caunwen there. She was dressed in her dark clothing once again, saddling her horse, her wolf standing nearby, as if ready to travel at his master's slightest command. She greeted him a "good morning" when she noticed him.

"Good Morning," he replied, "Going for an early morning ride?" He tried not to sound apprehensive, but she knew too well. "Actually," she said, "I am going home. I suppose it would be useless to try to tell everyone not to worry, so I am not going to tell you not to." He asked the only questions he could think of, "Why today? Why not rest a few more days?" "Because, I cannot wait," she replied. "Why can't you?" he challenged, he knew he was going to upset her, but he needed to be around her, and she was leave for no reason without knowing that he loved her. She had turned to stroke her horse's mane, her back to him as she said, "Because the longer I stay, the more difficult it will be to leave. No matter how much I will want to leave, I will end up staying because I will think that I am needed, or because I let myself believe that you…" she stopped, not willing to and willing to look at him.

"Believe that I what?" Legolas asked, silently stepping closer to her. "Nothing," she shook her head, whether to rouse herself or reset her emotions, he was unsure; she was half-human after all, prone to needing actual sleep. He was thinking of how beautiful her hair looked in the early morning light, when she continued, "I will just never find the strength to leave, and things will go back to how they were when I lived in Rivendell. I will be left to wander the city alone, or sit around reading, waiting to be called upon, never to be called. Singing to the darkness, never to be answered. Passing out of the remembrance of present life, always looking behind with regret, or to the future with apprehension. A bird locked in a cage that sings a pretty song, but one that would sing an even more beautiful song were it to be set free."

She turned then, not knowing how close he was, and he was very close indeed. She found herself trapped in between him and her horse, his hands resting on the horse on either side of her, ensuring no escape. Their faces were close, but not so close that she felt he was in her face. She was trying to decide what her reaction should be when she lifted her eyes to his, and that's all the further she got. Slowly, his head lowered until his lips met hers with a gentle, short kiss, like one a boy might give a girl he likes. He drew away, but only long enough to look her in the eyes to see if he found objection there, and he did not. His arms lowered to hold her, and before she could open her mouth to protest, he had started kissing her again. This kiss held within it all his longing, his desire, his love, all that he was. He had dreamed, or imagined, of this day everyday since she had gone missing. Everyone else had told him that she was dead, he had even believed it himself in his head, but somehow his heart would never let him forget her or grieve for her. Foolish some had called him, even his own Father had at times said he was, but it had not mattered. None of that mattered. She mattered. The kiss finally ended, and he had pulled back to look at her when he noticed that there was still a shadow of uncertainty in her eyes, such vulnerability.

"Caunwen, may I love you forever?" he asked. She looked him in the eye, pleading, "Would you listen to me if I told you that you really did not want to love me, that your guilt was just playing tricks on you?" He shook his head, "I have loved you since before I abandoned you… I had not understood at the time, but the real reason I found it so easy was because I was more afraid of admitting to myself what my Father had known when he gave me that bit of advice, that I was very much in love with you already." "If I told you that you may not love me forever, that what we had is passed, that you should move on… Would you listen to me then?" She asked this, she was trying to find some doubt in his resolve. "No, I am sorry. I would not listen to you," he caressed her face with his hand, "I will love you forever, no matter what."

She seemed to nod in resignation, "Then yes, you may, on one condition…" "And that would be?" he asked. She smiled at him, "On the condition that I may also love you forever." "I find your condition acceptable," he replied, then said the words she had longed all her life to hear, "I love you, Caunwen." "I love you, Legolas," his love answered.

As this story ends, Caunwen and Legolas got married in Rivendell, but the grandest adventure of their lives had just begun. They travelled often, sometimes Gimli even joined them on their trails. Like Frodo, though, Caunwen's wound from the Nazgul's poisonous blade never fully healed in the years they lived in Middle-earth. So, eventually, they also set sail for Valinor, and once there they lived happily ever after. Forever.

Thank _you to everyone who has read this story to its conclusion._

 **Alámenë**


End file.
